Energy

Before I’d even tried one, I was captivated by the shape of the Red Bull can, somehow smaller yet taller than its lesser caffeinated counterparts. However, in an apparent energy arms race, increasingly larger options are available.

Chances are, even if you don’t enjoy energy drinks, you’ll probably consume caffeine in another form: tea, coffee, or something carbonated. Different doses with the same desired effect. Our consumption indicates a global energy crisis, but why do we feel so drained?

Sometimes, I get the feeling that no matter how much energy I have to give, the world will always want to take slightly more from me. Whether it’s work contacting me outside of hours or not getting back to messages from mates, even downtime doesn’t feel like an opportunity to switch off.

While being constantly contactable can feel like a miracle for anyone who’s isolated, I’m suffocated by unanswered notifications. Each app has a tally of the people I’m yet to get back to as if keeping score.

It’s easier to ignore the collective than feel like I’m excluding anyone individually. Although, as the number of responses I need to send rises, so does my angst. Inevitably, replies are pushed down the line. Eventually, I will get back to them.

That’s the problem. The version of me you get over the phone might be awkward, occasionally annoying, and often unable to decipher the nuance of a written message. It feels ironic. Regardless, you’re missing out on the real thing.

Nothing makes me more charged than a good conversation. Whether you’re laughing about shared experiences between sips of vino or giving someone side-eye for their point of view, I adore it when others express their opinions or challenge mine. There is no chemical substitute for the feeling I get connecting over conversation. I fiend for it. If given a sniff, my eyes are as wide as my ears are open, hanging on every word while drafting responses in real-time.

Conversation can evoke emotion as well as any performance. It’s your stage to share your story, vision, or perspective. Personally, I never enjoy it more than with an audience of one. To call it a sparring match would be too crude. You work in tandem, collectively attempting to identify and explore the intricacies of where your journeys overlap.

You may be wondering what this has to do with energy. As far as I’m concerned, the Red Bull can stay on the shelf. I’m thirsting for conversation, and caffeine could never replace the buzz. Although maybe that’s why I feel drained, each fix is harder to find as our existences become increasingly insular.