Indulgence

We all deserve to be treated, right? At least, that’s what we remind ourselves of when we engage in indulgence. It’s a mechanism of reassurance to combat any lingering guilt for our actions. In other words, you need an excuse even if you know you’re wrong.

Overindulgence is all-encompassing; it’s our favourite fetish. I find it inescapable. My stomach turns at the thought of eating more ice cream, but I can’t put the spoon down. I’ll admire one car while ignoring another, despite both serving the same purpose. Later, I’ll syphon savings to spend on jewellery, shortly after scrimping on my food shop. Life can be a contradiction.

Aren’t we all, though? Even those who purge in the positive. The intrinsic connection between exercise and body image can make your gym journey feel like a treadmill. You either keep pace or fall off.

But what do you expect when we exist in an environment where gluttony is grandiose? Often, our aspirations outweigh our achievements, but if we weren’t so aware of opulence, would we be intent on achieving excess?

To avoid temptation, I looked the other way. I tried to skip the supermarket sections designed to do me no good, deleted the ASOS app and ditched drinking beer. Temporarily, each decision felt restorative.

Initially, I was aiming for ignorant bliss. However, each averted gaze only increased my awareness of how frequently we face opportunities to embrace our indulgent tendencies. It’s reassuring to remind yourself that you have a choice, but it’s exhausting swimming against a current of snacks, shots, and cigarettes.

The irony is that even when we overcome an obstacle, we’re conditioned to expect a reward. I’d argue we’re as bestial as any other species, no different from a dog who just learnt to sit, salivating, awaiting compensation for their efforts. 

Indulgence focuses on the physical; it’s a gift-giving exercise to yourself, whether you’re deserving or not. If you’re in a self-gratifying cycle, expect disappointment when you arrive empty-handed. However, the feeling gradually dissipates as your focus adjusts to appreciate the achievement instead of anticipating a reward.