Care
Friends are dynamic. Meeting someone new can be one of life’s most enjoyable experiences. Often it’s merely the comforting reminder that you’re not entirely unhinged and others share similar opinions.
Though, even if they stick around, inevitably, your relationship evolves; everyone is unique and deserves to be treated as such. I know where the line is with different people. Still, it doesn’t mean I don’t cross it, occasionally intentionally, often by accident, but everyone has different standards and expectations from those close to them.
Life changes, and those expectations shift, often gradually but occasionally overnight. In a perfect friendship, both parties appreciate the love, support, or interest from the other side. It’s a mutual understanding that you’d rather spend your precious time in their company than anyone else’s.
You’d think the best friendships don’t require any effort, but my experiences have taught me otherwise. Friends are like fires, meaning they’re beholden to the conditions of the world around them. They aren’t self-sustaining and need nourishing. Sometimes they burn slowly until you think the embers are extinguished, only for them to reignite. Others flame fast and burn out. Keep too many mates, and the blaze becomes unmanageable. Too few, and you won’t feel warmth when they aren’t around.
Regardless of how you get to know someone, relationships require care. Unfortunately, there’s no replacement for communication. Conversations can be daunting, but unless you operate through telekinesis - at least one of my friendships has felt close - you’ll never truly know the other person’s thoughts.
In most situations, that’s fine. I spend enough time in my head not to be concerned with everyone else’s thoughts. Though with anyone worth holding onto, you’ll reach a time when you need to talk. Whether those feelings are reciprocated is not your choice, and I’ve got close friends who’d wince if I tried to be honest with them about specific subjects. They’re not ready for the conversation, and it’s pointless to prize them open.
I hope those closest to me feel they can approach me honestly. A half-truth is kin to a lie; they’re born with the same motive, withholding information. For this reason, I’ve made it my prerogative to be wholeheartedly honest with everyone I trust. I’d like my closest friends to take care of me, and hard truths are essential to identifying issues that could otherwise fester.
Conway put it best in Clarity: “I take care of everybody, who gon’ take care of me”. As a statement, it rings true, why would you care for anyone who doesn’t care for you? Though as a question, ‘Who gon’ take care of me?’ sounds desperate. I don’t ask my friends for care; it’s an expectation. Anyone knows the process can be painful, but the rewards are worthwhile.